From Photoshop to “Being Bipolar”
As one would expect, studying abroad presents a daily challenge. When I have tried to explain this to my friends and family back home, I have simply described the challenge as, “everything you don’t think about in the states is suddenly very difficult”. I have had to struggle through simple tasks such as clothes shopping or using computers. In particular I have noticed a roller coaster of an extreme intensity on whether days are deemed “good” or “bad”. I have also noticed a personality split—I am a different person when speaking Spanish instead of English. Finally, specific parts of the material covered in class has been helpful—in particular the cultural values. Every day is a new challenge—but a worthwhile one. My intercultural competence has definitely improved!
One of the first challenges I stumbled upon was shopping for clothes. First off, the sizes are different so all of a sudden I didn’t know that I am a 6 ½ to 7 shoe size. No, now I am 36 to 37. Luckily I found a very nice shop owner who let me try on a ton of shoes until I got it right. I also realized that I didn’t know how to ask to try on clothing. Such a simple task in the states suddenly became embarrassing. I felt so stupid not knowing how to do this. But pretty quickly I adopted a solution for these day-to-day interactions. Simply put, I memorized the words I needed to know. Estillos, in order to send postcards, aprobar to try on clothing and la cuenta to get the check are some examples of what I quickly memorized. I also discovered that I often know enough to explain what I am looking for—even if I never seem to know the words I know—like envelope.
My internship brought another situation to light. The firm I work at has all of their programs in English. So even though I have used Photoshop a lot, I no longer could do anything! It sucked. Luckily study abroad forces you to be very creative. (Side note—a quick example of increased creativity. I needed to file my papers/schoolwork. At home I have a filing cabinet—but I refused to buy anything like that here, since I wouldn’t be able to take it home. So instead I took all the books I had and put the files between each of them! Problem solved.) My other problem with computers was a little easier, since I have had to learn AutoCAD as well. It’s easier to learn a program in another language. I don’t get frustrated because I don’t know how to do it in English either. I really was frustrated. With Photoshop, apparently everything I used to know how to do was in English. So I was basically stumbling through a program that I am super quick with in English. After two weeks of this frustration I created a solution. Using the English version, I created a cheat sheet that I could look at to find the Spanish equivalent of an English command. It has made work much easier. After going through this experience, I really want to send strongly worded letters to software companies stating that they should make changing the language easier to promote intercultural exchanges.
There are two processes I have noticed that I go through. One is the intense roller coaster. This rollercoaster has basically been swings of 180 degrees from ‘bad’ to ‘good’. Before study abroad—I was like everyone else. I would have good and bad days. But you shook off the bad days and got on with it since they never seemed to last very long. But if I graded my days here on the same scale, the days would be ‘very good’ or ‘VERY bad’. The intensity of my emotions is VERY extreme here. I seem to have a series of ‘bad’ days. They are harder to bounce back from, too. And then I call my mom because she always gives me a sense of perspective. And she reminds me that I am in another country, in another culture, immersed in a language that I do not know. And somehow I had forgotten this. And I have to readjust my priorities and preconceptions to be more realistic.
Among the many aspects of home that I miss is my power of language. Before coming here, I had no idea how much I relied on language. I not only talk A LOT at home (I had to switch phone companies because I talked about an hour a day on the phone!) but I also use it as a tool. I love gathering information—from friends, eavesdropping, news, etc. and spreading it (but not gossip). Information such as our class is doing this next, or this event is coming up, etc. However, I miss my power of language—my wit and sarcasm—to make friends. It’s very hard for me when I can’t display my intelligence because I can’t comprehend what the other person is saying. And then I feel incredibly stupid, even though I know I’m not. The worst part is that it has kind of affected friendships with my English-speaking cohorts. I have classes with them and I struggle with anything auditory. And most of the classes are auditory, so I always look like a fool because I couldn’t understand it in Spanish. I had a friend of my host mother’s point out that I became a different person when I spoke Spanish. I lost my animation and confidence. I essentially am ‘bipolar’ and it changes with the language I use. I also think this fear has diminished my confidence. I guess my coping strategy has been to say less because it has been easier than getting made fun of for not understanding. I miss my high vocabulary and wit . . . a lot.
I was pleasantly surprised to find that much of the material in class was helpful in coping with some of these situations. I found that the Learning Style Inventory (LSI) was particularly helpful at my internship. It helped explain some of the feelings I have had. I am an active experimenter. So I understood that when I just really wanted to try the task out on my own—that it was that learning style speaking. Luckily, my coworkers are very helpful and let me ask questions all the time! In addition, according to the LSI I am a person who says, “Let’s organize it!” It has been very difficult to be organized when literally everything around me is chaos and virtually unknown. I have begun to carve out niches of organization—the routines I can control. Even this little bit of culture has helped a lot.
Through the activities about Spanish values, I have come to understand my Senora (my host mother) a lot more. I thought it was a particular aspect of her personality, but now I understand that it is also a part of the culture. Specifically, the Spanish culture values putting relationships with people first. I had never realized how easily I would cut off relationships. But I will—and I have. Usually only when they were very unhealthy, but also when I just lost contact with friends, etc. It was very strange to me to watch my Senora worrying about a relationship that I would have just forgotten about because she was only an acquaintance. I realized it was partly a cultural difference, and that Americans will do a lot to succeed.
The phrase we learned in class, “the exception confirms the rule” particularly applies to my host family. Little did I know how uncommon a highly successful, single, unmarried mother is. She is so strong and intelligent. A perfect ideal of hard work breeds success in the U.S. But here she is somewhat of an exception. No one else seems to have heard of a similar situation. None of her friends are in this situation either—but they dote on her son constantly. I think she is an inspiration. But it seems the norms are more or less opposite of what I am experiencing.
In short, my “intercultural competence” has improved a lot! I can figure out most of my daily interactions and create solutions for tough problems. I have begun to identify many of the issues that I just couldn’t figure out before. In particular, taking a step back and looking at the intensity of experiences here has been helpful. The lessons from this class have improved both my knowledge and experience here. While I may not yet be able to explain all of these complex emotions—I can definitively say that my “intercultural competence” has improved dramatically. I will have transformed from a person who had never travelled outside the U.S. to an experienced, multi-lingual traveler. I am excited to see how this changes my perspective upon my return to the states. But I have noticed one small change already—I am very interested in world events. Seeing the world helps.
Shoes from my Senora's shoe room, I mean show room..I can't wait for the sample sale!!
The cheat sheet I made myself for Photoshop at work since all the programs are in Spanish!
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